Attrition of the heart
by Jadet
Summary: AU: 500 yrs. ago, Inu Yasha was betrayed by and sealed into a tree by Kikyo in her effort to provide her decendents with a protector from Naraku. Now in this new deadly time, two heart have to learn to trust each other or they, and their world, is doomed


Disclaimers: Don't own 'em, never will, now leave me to my Inu 'shippng!  
  
Authors notes: Um... don't know what to say. I hope this is an original idea, but if it seems like another IY fic, sorry. It ISN'T based off anything else but my twisted imagination, though. Hope you enjoy it and please review!  
  
PS: A note for the title- "Attrition" means to wear down something, usually by force or a long period of time, so attrition of the heart means to wear down the heart. I wonder whose heart I'm talking about though... ::evil grin:: Have fun trying to solve that one! ^_~  
  
~*~  
  
"Attrition of the Heart"  
An Inu Yasha action romance  
By Jadet  
Started Aug. 17, 2002  
Finished Oct. 10, 2002  
  
~*~  
  
-Prologue-  
  
  
The dream was strange. Not strange in the sense that it was improbable, in that dreamlike quality that everyone has, but strange because as she viewed her own dream from her mind, she felt a connection to what she was watching. Almost like something, or someone, in that dream was calling to her, begging her for her help. It was also strange in the fact that, as she watched, her mind's eye clarified a hazy picture of a woman that was her, yet wasn't. They looked the same, with flowing raven hair to their waist, and serious brown eyes that could become a warm gold when happy, or a hard, unyielding black when they were mad. Their auras were also the same bright golden blue color, and they wore the same priestess clothes. Yet, despite the similarities, there was something distinctly different. Nothing tangible that she could put her finger on, but she knew it was there. Therefore, as she watched the strange dream, it didn't take her long to realize what was different.  
  
She was watching her own reincarnation.  
  
In her dream, the woman's beautiful face was haggard as she faced a flowing, constantly shifting black wave that came closer to her with every second. Yet as she watched, the woman bravely stood her ground against her black foe, commanding a bow and arrow with deadly accuracy that never failed to eradicate whatever they touched. Around her neck was a shining jewel, so bright in its light that one could not look at it for long without the risk of being blinded, and she could tell that it caused the black wave great pain when it came too close. But no matter how many shining arrows the woman sent, or how far she backed up from the black wave, it kept coming closer. And the closer it came, the more resigned her face looked.  
  
Suddenly the dream changed. A flash of red streaked through the black wave, bright flashes of light erupting at every slash the streak inflicted. When the black wave had been destroyed except for a single, swaying form, the red streak finally came to rest beside the woman. It was a man, vaguely familiar in the way that all dreams make them to be, and the woman and he seemed to flow into each other until they were one. Together their light made the remaining darkness shrink away.  
  
Why was she seeing this? Something nagged at the back of her mind, something she knew was important and had been doing before she had started having this dream, but she couldn't pin down what. What was the point in seeing that her reincarnation, hundreds of years from now it seemed like, would succeed in whatever battle she had fought? Then with a deadened heart she watched as a cloaked figure emerged out of the blackness, someone she recognized with complete fear, and suddenly the dream made perfect sense.  
  
The man and woman were dead not two seconds later, and the demon's laughter echoed in her mind as she pushed out of the darkness holding her captive and back into the light.  
  
Kikyo woke suddenly from her dream, a helpless scream lodged in her throat. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't! she chanted in her mind. Vicious shoots of pain tightened her nerves with forceful agony but Kikyo forced herself to sit up, putting a hand to her side in a naïve attempt to block the pain, and biting her lip hard enough to taste blood as she rocked back and forth. The pain was horrible, and all she wanted to do was lie back down and escape from the pain. But the part of her that wasn't trembling from fear and pain knew she had to get up. She couldn't afford to indulge in her selfish wants right now; the demon she hated with all of her soul, the creature she had just been fighting and had barely been able to win against temporarily, the very monster she had to defeat and stop before he destroyed what was most important to her, was going to live beyond her time. Obviously by failing in her duty to purify his evil youkai, future generations were going to pay for her weakness.  
  
She couldn't let that future come true!  
  
With a soft moan, Kikyo picked herself off the ground, struggling to right herself when her legs stumbled. Blood flowed sluggishly from the gaping hole in her side, and Kikyo tried to ignore the sudden urge to throw up as she looked at it. It was bad, yes, but she could still function for just a little while longer, she thought with a silent wince as she tried her first step. Just a little longer….   
  
She made herself walk one step at a time, and by the time she had reached the place where the demon Naraku lay fallen, unconscious from her last attack during their vicious battle, she walked almost normally. That victory didn't dampen the venomous hate that welled up inside her heart at the sight of her enemy however, and bitterness welled up inside her as the truth reared its ugly head. Even now, lying mangled on the ground as though dead, and even with the severe burns coating his body and an arrow sticking from his chest, he was still more powerful than her. Three days they had fought, three long days where half of her energy had been spent keeping up the barrier around their fight to keep innocents out, and the other half fending off his attacks. Three days of fighting that had drained her, and he still had more to go. The agony of that truth wrenched her stomach. She couldn't kill him. She couldn't prevent the future, despite all of her power and determination.  
  
She only could hope that her wonderful, horrible idea would work.  
  
"Bastard," she whispered at the prone body, wrapping an arm around her middle as the pain intensified. The wind whipped around her body in a cyclone, pulling her waist long hair away from her bloodied face. "You fucking bastard. You aren't going to win. I won't let you win."  
  
Kikyo pulled out a small sheet of paper from her sleeve, and leaned over to place it on the demon's forehead, putting as much energy as she could spare into the seal. The writing glowed brightly, and with a few whispered words over the writing, the earth around the demon began to shake as it cracked open. Kikyo stepped back and watched impassively as the demon she had hated for as long as she could remember, sunk into the earth and disappeared under a mound of dirt and grass. Almost instantly the grass and shrubbery within a 20 foot radius shriveled and turned black as his evil youkai spread outward. The seal would only hold for a hundred years or so, maybe a little less because of how powerful he was, but that would give her the time to come up with a way to beat him. Even sleeping as he was now, enchanted under one of her greatest spells, he was still more powerful than she could ever hope to become.   
  
Naraku would rise again.  
  
She had failed, but Kikyo refused to let the anguish of the almost pointless battle that would no doubt kill her digress her from her goal. Her only hope was the woman from her dream, and… him. The man whom she now had to go see and betray.   
It was the only way… Oh kami, let him understand.  
  
Her heart was heavy as she limped away from the unholy ground where the demon Naraku was imprisoned. She knew it was the only way, she knew it in her heart and in her mind. But her soul screamed at the impending loss of its mate, and tears welled up behind her eyes as she finally spotted his figure killing the rest of the straggling demons. He was the only man she would ever truly love, and as he turned around and saw her walking towards him, her heart beat painfully as his expression went rigid with fear and he bounded over to where she was. For him though, just this one last time, she smiled at him from her heart as he stopped in front of her.  
  
"Kikyo! What happened? Why the hell did you block me out of that fight?!" He bit out, his face warring between fury at her slight that he wasn't strong enough to kill Naraku, and the worry that had been eating him from the inside for three days.  
  
Kikyo shook her head, and fell forward onto his chest. It barely registered in her mind that they were standing under the tree where they had first met, though the fleeting thought gave her comfort. When Inu Yasha's arms stiffly went around her, then hugged her with desperate force, she kept the small cry of pain inside, and took the comfort that he gave.   
  
"I'm sorry, my love. But Naraku is defeated for now, and you're alive. That is all that matters," Kikyo whispered, breathing in the smell that was all him. She could hear his heart under her ear, and that reminded her what she had to do. Pain gripped her chest, but she pushed back to look into his eyes.  
  
They were shocked. "You defeated him? Naraku's dead?"  
  
Kikyo shook her head. "No, he is in an enchanted sleep. I did not have the power to kill him by myself."   
  
"Well, tell me where he is then! Feh, I knew I should have fought with you. I'll go and…."  
  
"No, Inu Yasha, it is not possible now," Kikyo said, a sad smile on her face. "Even now, sleeping under the earth where I put him, he is much too powerful. Even for you, Inu Yasha."  
  
Inu Yasha frowned at that statement, and started to open his mouth. Desperation to hear the one thing she most needed to hear suddenly came over Kikyo however, and she threw herself back onto his chest, burying her nose in his fire rat kimono.  
  
"I love you, Inu Yasha!"  
  
No reply came, and Kikyo's heart fell. He had never been able to tell her that he loved her, even though they had been lovers for over a year. Tears streamed down her face, and she shook her head slightly in his robes. It wasn't fair. She had to give him up, had to forever be alone with no guarantee that she was doing the right thing, and she couldn't even have the comfort of those three words? It just wasn't fair!   
  
"Kikyo?" Inu Yasha inquired, removing his arms from around her shoulders to push back on her waist. Kikyo clenched her teeth in pain, and doubled over slightly, her breathing ragged. He blinked and then raised one of his hands, finding it covered in blood. This time he wasn't so gentle when he pushed her back by her shoulders to look at her side. At the sight his eyes beheld, he looked down in horror into her eyes. "You're bleeding! Why didn't you tell me?! We have to get you to that old healing lady right…."  
  
"No!" Kikyo gasped, and pushed away from him. With shaking hands, she pulled one of the two rosaries that she wore around her neck off and held it lightly in her hands. She wore them for extra protection and as an amplifier for her power at times, but what she was planning to do should also be possible if she used the last of her power. Closing her eyes, she imagined her light flowing into the rosary in her hand. The feeling of the remnants of her power flowing away left her trembling, black lacing the edge of her vision. Shaking her head, she fought the darkness off. Later, she promised herself, just a little more…  
  
Kikyo muttered a few words over the rosary, and then leaned up to place it over Inu Yasha's head. As soon as it was around his neck, it glowed softly before going back to its original color. Then, for final measure, Kikyo reached up and touched her own rosary, whispering a few words. After the glow had faded, Kikyo smiled sadly. 'There….'  
  
Inu Yasha blinked at her in confusion, and pulled at his rosary. "Kikyo, what…?"  
  
"It's to bind you and me for all eternity, Inu Yasha. So that no matter how long we might be apart, or whatever bodies we may possess, we will always be together."  
  
Inu Yasha raised his eye brows. "And why would we need this?" Suddenly his eyes widened, then narrowed at her. "You don't think you're going to die are you?" At her silence, he became furious. "I won't allow it Kikyo! You will not die on me! C'mon, we're going to the village to get you fixed up and then you'll see you didn't need to give me this stupid thing!"  
  
He tried to pull the rosary off from around his neck, but gaped in surprise that it wouldn't move. He tugged on it harder, almost frantic, growling low in his throat. She wouldn't… she couldn't…!  
  
Kikyo smiled shakily at the growing betrayal in his eyes, and finished the last of her incantation.   
"My blood for their blood, my soul for theirs, a protector you will now be. By my power as priestess, I command it so!"  
  
With a mighty shove, Kikyo pushed Inu Yasha back against the tree which had become the first and last place they would ever meet, and slumped to the ground. Inu Yasha widened his eyes in surprise at her shove, but became livid when as soon as he touched the tree, he started to be sucked in.  
  
"Kikyo!" he roared, fighting with all of his strength to break free from the tree. "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Kikyo wanted to cry at the piercing betrayal in his eyes, but they were surprisingly dry. Instead she shook her head mutely, a slight tremble in her voice.  
  
"Please forgive me Inu Yasha, but this is the only way. She needs you to defeat him. This is the only way."  
  
"Who the hell are you talking about?" Inu Yasha demanded, slashing at the tree that seemed to flow around his body like water. His entire lower body had already been sucked in, and panic was now predominant on his face. "Who is 'she'?!"  
  
Kikyo shook her head tiredly again. She felt detached from her body for some reason, and her eyes became bottomless pits of black. "Please, help her defeat Naraku. She… she needs you."  
  
One of his arms was finally trapped by the tree, and Inu Yasha increased his frantic attempts to get himself out of the tree. "NO! Dammit, get off me! Why are you doing this Kikyo!"  
  
Kami, why can't I cry? Kikyo wondered, the detached feeling she had felt earlier growing larger. Some part of her realized that she was going into shock, and that the battle and fatal wound on her side were taking its toll. The other part of her refused to let it end like this, and she forced herself to concentrate. "She needs you there, Inu Yasha." Something flashed in her mind, and she smiled sourly. "*They* need you."   
  
His other arm was sucked in, leaving only his upper chest, neck and head free from the tree. His eyes sought hers, begging to know why she was betraying him, while at the same time cursing her for it. She closed her eyes briefly at the pain, but opened them after a second.  
  
"Be happy, my love. And always remember this: your heart needs only to speak the truth to free your love. Don't let him win… Inu Yasha."  
  
The tree had finally absorbed everything but his face, and he cried out "Kikyo!" one last time before he disappeared into the tree.   
  
In the silence following his last scream, Kikyo clumsily stood and watched the tree with a stoic face. She jerkily walked the few feet to the tree, and leaned against it much like she had leaned against him minutes before. With closed eyes, she let herself finally collapse at the base of the tree.  
  
"Forgive me, Inu Yasha," she whispered, voice broken with tears. "Forgive me for not being strong enough..."  
  
Darkness loomed in front of her, and she gladly succumbed to the comforting emptiness.  
  
She was found two hours later by her sister, tears crusting her face and clutching a bloody rosary.   
  
Kikyo, the famous priestess who's seal entrapped Naraku the first time for 120 years, died without telling a single soul the price of her "gift."   
  
  
-500 years later-  
  
  
The wind howled through the ruins of the old temple, scattering the random leaves and dirt into the wind. The whole structure groaned underneath the onslaught of the wind, and the combination of the howl and the groan echoed throughout the temple as if a ghost haunted its remaining walls.   
  
From above the old temple, the full moon watched a cloaked figure skillfully maneuver around the ruins, its cloak whipping in the wind and showing the temple clothes briefly underneath. The moon ducked behind a black cloud for a moment, before showing its face again and watching with fascination. The cloaked figure did not slow as it came to the middle of the temple, despite the larger obstacles that was presented into its path. Instead the figure skirted around the fallen walls, and continued on into the courtyard with expert precision that spoke volumes about the familiarity of this place to the figure.  
  
When the figure finally reached the courtyard, and the large single tree standing in its center, it came to a halt and placed two of its three items on the ground in front of the tree. Moonlight glittered off the knife on the ground, and dully shined on the ancient, but well preserved rosary. The figure shrugged out of its cloak, revealing to the moon a young woman in priestess's clothes of a white shirt, and red hakama. Her hair, a dark black like a raven's wing, spilled in a wave down her back, and her dark brown eyes surveyed the tree with intelligence and what might have been fear.   
  
After a minute of staring at the tree, the woman bit her lip in determination, unrolled the scroll and began to read. Powerful words laced with magic swirled around her as she read them, before flowing over to the tree in front of her. The protective garland around the tree shimmered and moved, though it could have been caused by the wind. She kept reading for another minute, allowing the magic of the words to continue their journey around her, gathering power, and then transferring it to the tree. When she stopped, the tree began to glow faintly, and a soft hum could barely be heard over the wind that increased in its intensity during the spell.  
  
The woman set the scroll down on the ground next to the rosary and reached out to take the knife. Her hand hovered over the knife, as if she was deliberating whether she should pick it up or not, but finally it moved forward to take up the knife. She moved to stand directly over the rosary and closed her eyes, nicking the soft skin of the inside of both wrists and letting the blood drip down onto the rosary. As soon as the blood hit the rosary, the wind picked up its intensity until it was almost a hurricane around her. The beads on the rosary began to glow when she said the next part of the spell, her voice somehow heard over the wind.  
  
"And my blood for your power, my life for your strength, my… soul for your service."  
  
She leaned down and quickly picked up the rosary, which was now pulsating a bright light in rhythm to her heart beat. Before she could change her mind, she quickly threw it over her head. It came to rest around her neck, and the pulsating light matched the one around the tree. Fear might have played quickly across her face, as well as a profound regret, but was so quickly gone it can not be known for sure. With a clear voice she cried out the next part.  
  
"As a decedent of the priestess Kikyo, who sealed you, I use my ancient blood as my right to call on thee Inu Yasha to my domain, and hereby promise my life for your service. Awaken, Inu Yasha, and come forth to serve me. As priestess, I command it!"  
  
With a sudden burst of light that temporarily blinded her, the tree glowed a bright gold that slowly separated from the tree as a floating orb. With a hand over her eyes to shield the light, the woman watched as the orb landed in front of her and dimmed, leaving behind a man with long white hair that reached his waist. On the top of his head were two dog-like ears, covered in the same white colored fur that his hair was, and on his hip was what looked like a rusty old sword and its scabbard, Tetsusaiga the woman mused to herself. The man wore the famed red fire rat outfit that was as much a part of the legends for its ability to protect the wearer from almost all physical harm as he was. His feet were bare, and all of his nails on both hands and feet were sharpened like claws. He looked as powerful and dangerous as was told in the stories passed down with this shine.  
  
The woman stopped examining him when he opened his eyes, and cold golden orbs landed on her brown ones. The woman shivered at the menace and fury in his eyes, but said the last part of the spell.  
  
"Until 100 nights have fallen, you are mine to command, and I am yours to protect. As the priestess Kikyo first wished, so it will be done."  
  
The power in the air slowly subsided, and the woman could breathe again. The man in front of her continued to regard her coldly. She stared back, fighting off the approaching blackness. When he was the first to break the silence, she knew she had done the right thing, for better or for worse.  
  
"You have dug your own grave, wench."  
  
Kagome smiled and fingered the warm rosary around her neck, her blessing and her curse.  
  
"So I have," she said, and the moon watched as she promptly fainted.  
  
  
-End of Prologue-   
  
Weee... that was fun. I'm not sure if this story made any sense what-so-ever, but it WAS fun to write. I already have the first chapter all planned out, and if I get enough reviews I'll probably write it and post it. Please tell me what you though, good AND bad. If I'm not told, how can I improve? Anyway, thanks for reading!!  
  
~Jadet 


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